I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
