What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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