Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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