Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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