i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
splinters make it hard to masturbate
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
