Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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