Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize
