Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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