Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
