i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
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