3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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