Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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