I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
