thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
