This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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