I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
