WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
