you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Randomize
