On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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