i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
