I think I am morally bankrupt
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
