i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
