why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
