I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
