Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
