When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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