I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
