worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
