I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
