I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
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