So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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