just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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