I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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