You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
