Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
