But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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