Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
