and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Randomize
