Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
