But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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