2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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