I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
