theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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