I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
