You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
