Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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