High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
