It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just cropdusted the office
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
