so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
