I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
