all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
