Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
